Nosy Neighbors
by ExplosionsAreSuperFun
Summary: Theodora couldn't help being curious. River and John, the couple across the hall, we're just so strange. They were the oddest couple. Always coming and going, causing a commotion. James had told her she should stop spying on the poor people, but he was just as intrigued as she was. Set after The Husbands of River Song. Twelve/River. Please R&R!


They were one of those couples that always seemed to wake up early and stay out late. They were always coming and going at odd times in the night or in the early hours of the morning. Who knows what they were doing. Most times they returned covered in grime and their clothes looking as if a lion had decided to take a few swipes at them. They were always either laughing or arguing, sometimes they did both. They were too loud or too quiet. Honestly, the were just very odd people to be neighbors with.

* * *

"They're back," a woman announced, peering through the peep hole in her door.

"Oh, leave it be Theodora," her husband said from his chair, flipping pages back and forth as he scanned through the newspaper looking for something interesting to read. There wasn't.

"But would you look at them, James!"

He sighed, setting the paper down on the table. "If I do will you stop going on about them?" Theodora just motioned him over, her eye never leaving the peep hole. He rose from his chair, taking his time as he made his way over to the door.

"Would you hurry up?" Theodora hissed, dragging him along. "Look!" she ordered, pointing to the peep hole.

James sighed once more, rolling his eyes for extra measure. "Oh, come on Theodora," he started, placing his eye to the peep hole. "They can't possibly be-"

He stopped short eyes widening in shock. "My God!"

"See! I'm not crazy!"

John and River, the couple from across the hall, were currently standing by their door completely covered from head to toe in some sort of green goop which was starting to pool at their feet.

That's going to stain the carpet, James thought, cringing inwardly. As a carpet cleaner, he knew those sort of things.

"What are they doing now?" Theodora inquired, trying to shove her husband from the door. "Let me see!"

"Hush," her husband said, "I'm trying to hear what they're saying!"

Theodora huffed, folding her arms crossly. "You're just as bad as I am."

"Shhh!"

Theodora sighed, shoving her husband over a bit, managing to get a peek through the peep hole. She pressed her ear to the cool wood of the door.

"Doctor," River growled as she wiped away some goop that had slid down her face and nearly into her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Why does she call him that?" Theodora asked quietly. She was shushed.

John or the Doctor as his wife called him more than often, (Perhaps it was a nickname?) was patting his pockets, obviously looking for something. "Well, you see," he started, still searching his pockets. "I've seemed to have lost the key."

"What?" River asked, eyes widening before narrowing slightly. "What do you mean you've 'lost the key'?"

"Exactly that," the man stated. "I've lost the key."

"How did you manage to lose the key?" River asked, glaring up at him.

"Like most people do I imagine," he replied, turning and starting to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

He turned, lifting his eyebrows as if it was obvious, "To find the key, where else?"

"Why don't you just sonic it?" River asked, motioning to the deep blue door.

"What does she mean by sonic it?" Theodora asked. Once again she was shushed.

"Did you forget that we have neighbors now, dear, which means people are watching?"

Theodora and James ducked, hearts racing in their chests like two little children who had been caught eavesdropping on their parents. Which was stupid, Jnohn couldn't possible see them through the door or know that they were spying on the strange couple. Could he?

"Seriously?" They heard River huff. "Nobody's watching. I understand you want to keep our presence on the down low, but I don't get it why we can't just park the TARDIS in the flat. You're just paranoid."

Slowly, the couple crept back to the peep hole.

"Famous last words," John called over his shoulder, now out of sight.

"Just sonic the bloody door, Sweetie!" River half shouted.

"Oh come on," John called, still out of sight. "We have time."

"No," River insisted. "We don't."

"And why is that?" John asked, slowly coming back into view.

"Because," River started. "This slime is starting to dry and if it does, my hair is going to be a cement block for three days and I would rather you just sonic the door and let us in so I can take a shower and attempt to get this bloody stuff out of my hair."

"Why don't you just use your sonic?"

River frowned, folding her arms crossly, "Because I left it in the TARDIS."

The Doctor laughed, "You left it in the TARDIS?"

"Yes!" River fumed, "That's what I just said!"

"What's a TARDIS?" James asked.

"Hush!" Theodora said, sending a harsh glance towards her husband.

"Well, that's too bad," John said, bopping River's nose. "Because that's where I left mine. So no sonicing the door today, my dear."

"Lair," River hissed. "You always carry it."

"No I don't," John said. "It spoils the lining in my jacket."

"Oh, is that so?" River asked, a smile snaking its way onto her lips. "Then would you like to tell me what this is?" She held something that was blue and silver.

"Is that one of those fancy tech screwdrivers they sell at the store? I haven't seen that one before. It's quite strange. Is it s new model?" James asked, glancing down to his wife.

"Shut up," Theodora hissed, elbowing him in the side.

"River," John started, "We have rules!"

"Yes, and I'm making a new one. Rule Number 82: Don't expect me to follow your stupid rules when my hair is involved." River said, turning towards the door and before John could react there was a buzzing sound and the door popped open. River dashed into the flat.

"I hate you," John huffed, following her into the flat.

"No you don't," they heard River laugh before John closed the door.

Theodora and James both stepped back from the door, glancing at each other.

"How did she open the door?" Theodora asked, breaking the silence.

James shrugged, "No clue, but whatever that sonic thingy was, I'd sure like to get one. I wouldn't have to keep up with my keys."

"Oh, shut up," Theodora order, slapping his arm lightly, "You would just lose it like you lose everything."

"I do not," James mumbled under his breath, sitting back in his chair.

Theodora sat down on the couch, picking up her long forgotten tea cup. "They are an odd couple." She deduced.

"What was your first clue, Sherlock?" James questioned, his face buried in the newspaper. Perhaps there was something interesting after all.

Theodora frowned, either at her cold cup of tea or her husband, perhaps both. "I'm going to call Beatrice," she said crossly, pushing herself up from the couch. She left the room, taking the phone with her.

"She's probably sleeping," James said. "Something we should probably be doing also."

"I don't care if she is, and you can go to sleep if you like," Theodora huffed, dialing the phone.

"Ask her if she knows what a TARDIS is, will ya?"

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading, lovelies! Tell me what you thought and leave a review! :)**

 **This is set sometime after The Husbands of River Song. I think I'm going to turn it into a series of drabbles. I don't know, just tell me if you guys liked it. Thanks!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or its characters.**


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